{"id":2050,"date":"2023-10-01T00:07:00","date_gmt":"2023-10-01T00:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newchaptersolutions.com\/?p=2050"},"modified":"2024-06-27T03:49:27","modified_gmt":"2024-06-27T03:49:27","slug":"overcoming-the-fear-of-being-alone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newchaptersolutions.com\/overcoming-the-fear-of-being-alone\/","title":{"rendered":"Overcoming the Fear of Being Alone"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Is it better to be in an unhappy or unfulfilling relationship or not in a relationship at all?\u00a0 That depends upon who you ask.\u00a0 As a happy yet never-married woman of 50 who counsels singles and couples, I have firsthand experience with both sides of this dilemma.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">The fear of being alone reflects many negative thought patterns.\u00a0 Do any of them ring true for you?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Is there something wrong with me\u2026 am I unlovable?<\/li>\n<li>Will I grow old alone?<\/li>\n<li>Is this relationship the best I can attract?<\/li>\n<li>I hate being a &#8220;third wheel&#8221; among my married friends.<\/li>\n<li>Maybe there&#8217;s no one out there for me.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;d better hang on to this one\u2014my biological clock is ticking.<\/li>\n<li>I can&#8217;t be happy if I&#8217;m single.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Too often, people equate being single with failure.\u00a0 One of my neighbors, a thrice-divorced man about my age, has actually asked me why I never married and went as far as saying there must be something wrong with me.\u00a0 Really?\u00a0 Someone who has said \u201cI do\u201d three times and he thinks there must be something wrong with me?\u00a0 That just makes me chuckle.<\/p>\n<p>Scott is a poster-child for someone afraid of being alone.\u00a0 Sadly, in the years I\u2019ve known him, he\u2019s bounced from relationship to relationship with an obvious desperation that drives very unhealthy decisions.\u00a0 Rarely does he share happy stories involving the current woman du jour.\u00a0 It is apparent his fear of being alone is fed by his belief that he won\u2019t be happy unless he\u2019s in a relationship.<\/p>\n<p>For my clients sharing Scott\u2019s belief system, we\u2019ve worked together to shift their thought processes by having them:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Focus on building non-romantic social connections<\/strong><br \/>\nBy nature, humans are social animals and survive and thrive with the interaction and support of others.\u00a0 When not involved in a romantic relationship, we have even more time to enjoy our friends and family.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Find satisfaction and even joy in \u201calone time\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\nI met one of my favorite clients, Ken, while he was going through his divorce.\u00a0 In his late 40s, Ken had never lived alone as an adult and was struggling with the thought of being alone at night for the first time.\u00a0 After working through his fears and negative thoughts, I\u2019m proud to report that Ken, six months later, actually looks forward to being alone and having his new apartment all to himself.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Identify their own interests and favorite activities<\/strong><br \/>\nWe are all creatures of habit.\u00a0 When we want to implement change in our lives, we must change our habits.\u00a0 Developing friendships within and around one\u2019s favorite activities ensures options for company when we want it.\u00a0 I have golf buddies, ski buddies, cycling buddies, foodie buddies, theater buddies\u2026 you get the point.<\/p>\n<p>The fear of being alone can lead people to settle for less-than-ideal romantic partners and less-than-happy relationships\u2026 and therefore, less-than-blissful lives.\u00a0 Settling for \u201cless-than\u201d reveals a sad irony: that those who equate happiness with being in a romantic relationship may, due to the fear of being alone, reduce their chances of finding happiness overall.<\/p>\n<p><em>Do you enjoy your &#8220;alone time&#8221;?\u00a0 I love mine!\u00a0 That&#8217;s certainly not to say I don&#8217;t enjoy getting out and seeing friends, of course.\u00a0 For me it&#8217;s all about striking a healthy balance between my inner introvert and inner extrovert.\u00a0 What are your thoughts?\u00a0 Forward them to me at <a href=\"mailto:deb@newchaptersolutions.com\">deb@newchaptersolutions.com<\/a>&#8230; I\u2019d love to hear from you!<br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p><small>Photo by db Photography | Demi-Brooke <\/small><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Is it better to be in an unhappy or unfulfilling relationship or not in a relationship at all?\u00a0 That depends upon who you ask.\u00a0 As a happy yet never-married woman of 50 who counsels singles and couples, I have firsthand experience with both sides of this dilemma. The fear of being alone reflects many negative [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2061,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[31,30],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Executive Coaching\/Counseling\/Consulting | Overcoming the Fear of Being Alone | New Chapter Solutions<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Is it better to be in an unhappy or unfulfilling relationship or not in a relationship at all? That depends upon who you ask. 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