Divorce is often an overwhelming and emotionally devastating experience. \u00a0Expectations of \u201cuntil death do us part\u201d are shattered, family ties are irreversibly broken, communication breaks down, mistrust grows, bills pile up, and innocent children become collateral damage.<\/p>\n
And then the traditional litigation process begins with attorneys filing and serving petitions and counterpetitions, requests to produce, and motions to compel. \u00a0Sometimes each party hires dueling mental health experts to convince a judge that he or she should have more time with the kids. \u00a0Privacy is destroyed as each party\u2019s life is probed and publicly questioned so that one side may gain a strategic advantage over the other.<\/p>\n
But there\u2019s a better way.\u00a0 A more civilized way. \u00a0It is referred to as Collaborative Divorce (as well as Collaborative Process, Collaborative Practice, Collaborative Law, or Collaborative Family Law).<\/p>\n
Collaborative Divorce has proven to be a decidedly effective way for a divorcing couple to resolve their issues without going to court.<\/p>\n
To ensure full commitment to the collaborative divorce process, the participants and their attorneys agree in advance that they will work together in a cooperative, good faith effort to resolve issues without resorting to litigation in the court system.<\/p>\n
Both parties agree that they will provide full, honest and open disclosure of all information relevant to the Collaborative Divorce process. \u00a0And, they sign an agreement that their attorney\u2019s representation is limited to the Collaborative process and that neither of the attorneys can ever represent them in a court proceeding against the other spouse. \u00a0This eliminates the easy fallback position of letting a judge decide important issues in the participants\u2019 lives and puts emphasis on finding workable solutions that are acceptable to both parties.<\/p>\n
A vast majority of Collaborative Divorce cases result in a \u201cwin-win\u201d solution that both parties agree is a fair resolution to their divorce issues.<\/p>\n
The Collaborative Process utilizes a team approach, of which the four core team members include two attorneys, a mental health professional, and a financial specialist.\u00a0 These professional team members each have their own roles and responsibilities in the Collaborative Divorce Process.\u00a0 Within their respective specialty areas, they work together to assist divorcing spouses reach a fair settlement.<\/p>\n
Each party has an experienced divorce attorney with advanced training in non-adversarial conflict resolution techniques. \u00a0Unlike in traditional divorce proceedings, these attorneys actually work cooperatively with one another to problem-solve and create win-win options for settlement. \u00a0Once all the information has been gathered and analyzed and a settlement agreed upon, the attorneys then draft the final documents (with input from the other professionals on the divorce team) for separation and file them with the court.\u00a0 Ninety-two days later (Colorado\u2019s mandatory waiting period) the couple is officially divorced.<\/p>\n
The other core Collaborative Divorce team members are thought of as \u201cneutrals\u201d as they work on behalf of both spouses and, essentially, their children.\u00a0 A Collaborative Divorce Facilitator (CDF), usually a licensed mental health professional, fulfills multiple roles on the team from coordinating all joint meetings and managing emotions to developing an effective parenting plan and coaching spouses through the process and onto being effective co-parents.\u00a0 Many soon-to-be-ex-spouses report that they actually get along better after experiencing the Collaborative Process than they did while they were married.<\/p>\n
Another key neutral resource on the Collaborative Divorce team is the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA).\u00a0 This financial specialist collects and evaluates the marital financial information and develops various settlement options (including tax implications and financial projections) for consideration.\u00a0 Having these key neutral professionals on the team and leveraging their deep expertise in their respective disciplines is one of the biggest benefits of the Collaborative Process.<\/p>\n
Unlike traditional family law cases, attorneys in the Collaborative model are retained solely for the purpose of helping the divorcing spouses reach an agreement. \u00a0In practical terms, this means that the attorneys are not conducting the usual opposition research to highlight an opposing party\u2019s parental or other flaws in preparation for trial (which can be the most time-consuming, expensive, and destructive part of the traditional divorce process). \u00a0And by working together rather than in a typical adversarial fashion, the attorneys are leading by example through cooperation and transparency.\u00a0 In addition, the facilitator\/mental health professional helps the clients and the attorneys focus on what\u2019s most important to the family\u2019s future happiness and well-being.<\/p>\n
The Collaborative Process allows for flexible, creative solutions throughout the divorce process. \u00a0The team explores options that look beyond a legal framework by incorporating the skills and expertise of the facilitator and financial professional. \u00a0Clients are encouraged to focus on the best interests of their family, rather than rigid negotiation positions, to reach their goals. \u00a0With the team, what-if scenarios are explored based on each client\u2019s preferences and priorities in an effort to design the best possible outcome for both.\u00a0 Conversely in the traditional divorce court model, the judge doesn\u2019t have the time to hear each person\u2019s desires and arbitrarily settles disputes as expeditiously as possible.<\/p>\n
All communications, meetings, and proposed settlement decisions that take place within the Collaborative context are privileged and confidential. \u00a0Meetings are conducted, not in open court, but at the office of one of the attorneys or other team members. \u00a0This private environment allows the spouses and team members to fulfill their agreement to be open, honest, and transparent throughout the process. \u00a0Unlike traditional litigation, any agreement that is reached may not need to be filed with the court, helping private lives stay out of the public record.<\/p>\n
The Collaborative Practice model views divorce as the restructuring of the family and not as a battle to be won or lost.\u00a0 The model is successful because it provides the participants with an optimal setting, safe environment, and support system to enable them to settle their divorce issues as amicably as possible.<\/p>\n
This model empowers spouses to creatively craft their own solutions, thereby improving the chances for long-term goodwill and a sense of satisfaction that a fair and just resolution was reached.\u00a0 The attorneys are not there to do battle with each other but are charged with guiding the process for the divorcing couple and collaborating on solutions.<\/p>\n
A traditional divorce ends in one of two ways: either the parties are able to come to an agreement to divide the property and put together a parenting plan (if necessary) OR the parties go to court with each side presenting their point of view to the judge.\u00a0 The judge then makes his\/her ruling on any of the unresolved issues. \u00a0Ultimately, this gives the judge the power to decide how the family will be structured moving forward.\u00a0 This can lead to one or both of the parties frustrated with the judge\u2019s decision and, potentially, more litigation in the future.<\/p>\n
Conversely, collaborative divorce ends when an agreement is reached by the parties.\u00a0 The parties have complete control over what the restructuring of their family will look like.\u00a0 This leads clients to focus more on their relationship including establishing new skills to help them co-parent.\u00a0 This ability to co-parent and focus on the needs of the children typically leads to a deeper resolution and healthier relationship going forward.<\/p>\n
While you will no longer be Husband and Wife, you will always be Mom and Dad.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
In the unlikely event that a settlement is not reached, the Collaborative attorneys are forced to withdraw, and litigation lawyers may be retained. \u00a0Knowing that the Collaborative attorneys cannot bring the case in front of a judge and that clients would need to start the process all over again with new attorneys further enhances cooperation in reaching more balanced settlement options.<\/p>\n
What are the Typical Costs?<\/strong><\/h3>\n
The traditional divorce process is an expensive one, especially if a settlement agreement isn\u2019t reached and the parties end up in front of a judge.\u00a0 Perhaps you\u2019ve heard horror stories of attorney fees spiraling into the $50,000\u2014100,000+ range depending upon the complexity of the case, the number of marital assets to be divided, and the level of conflict between the spouses.<\/p>\n
Typically, the cost of a collaborative divorce vs. a traditional divorce is significantly lower.\u00a0 Because the parties work together instead of battling over every little detail, the attorneys do not have to spend as much time resolving small disputes. \u00a0Additionally, preparing for a trial is an extremely time-consuming process.<\/p>\n
Even though it may seem like the collaborative process could be more expensive because the parties have to hire not only an attorney, but a facilitator\/mental health professional and a financial expert, more often than not it is significantly cheaper than a long, drawn-out, contested divorce.\u00a0 For example, when preparing a parenting plan, the couple meets with the CDF\/mental health professional for the discussion and preparation of this agreement.\u00a0 In the traditional divorce setting, both attorneys would be present for these meetings, significantly escalating the time and cost involved.\u00a0 The same is true for what we refer to as \u201coffline\u201d meetings between the two spouses and the CDFA.\u00a0 With the deep financial and tax expertise a financial professional brings to the process, dividing up the marital assets is easier, smoother, and often has a better outcome when using a financial neutral rather than attorneys.<\/p>\n
Do it for Your Health<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Nobody can say divorce is good for your health, but Collaborative Divorce may be the healthiest way to go through a divorce. \u00a0Scientific research confirms that stress is bad for our health. \u00a0Stress raises your cortisol levels, and elevated cortisol levels create inflammation which is known to be the cause of many ailments. \u00a0So, if you find yourself heading for divorce, you might want to consider the Collaborative Divorce method.<\/p>\n
Where to Start?<\/strong><\/h3>\n